And so Self-Doubt Creepeth In

Not all that surprising to me really.  I have this huge fear of failure.  Which usually keeps me from actually starting anything (and I mean anything) in the first place.  Plus I have this track record of starting something and never finishing it.  Thus I have failed over and over again.  I always tell myself I'll get back to it.  I have lots of unfinished projects piled up, believe it or not some are even decades old, because eventually I plan on finishing it. 

I'm almost surprised I'm still writing this blog.  But I'm determined.  And I think it's time I pull out those unfinished projects (mostly sewing and crafts) and finish them.  The dress may not be the right size right now, but if all goes well with this ReVamp that might just change.

Trouble in Paradise

So I really want to do this.  But more importantly I really NEED to do this.  But I've hit a stumbling block, that I should have seen coming.  Probably the single most important aspect of my life that needs this ReVamp.

You know the saying Just Do It!?  Well I don't, just do it, that is.  I'm the worst kind of procrastinator.  How do you revamp that?  For as long as I can remember I've always put off doing things (just about anything) until the last minute.  In school, I would wait to do homework until late the night before it was due.

I always say I'll start tomorrow and tomorrow never comes because I'll say it over and over again.  They say to replace a bad habit with a good habit.  But procrastination isn't just a habit it's a behavior.  What's the old saying to change a behavior?  I don't know.  Help!?

Do what you love, love what you do

It took me a very long time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.  There were times that I thought I had it figured out.  In 2nd grade I wanted to be a Las Vegas Showgirl, this was during the time that I was taking Tap Dancing, which I loved.  And my dad had taken the family to a show in Las Vegas and on the way home I told him that I wanted to do that.  Shortly thereafter my Tap Dancing classes ended.  In 7th grade I wanted to be an architect.  It didn't take me very long to change my mind about that one.  First, I couldn't draw a straight line and second, someone told me how much schooling it would require.  And I really didn't like that idea.  In 10th grade I wanted to be an Interior Designer.  I loved going through model homes to see how they were decorated and would think to myself that I could do that.  Not sure why I changed my mind on that one.  When I entered college (the one and only semester I attended) I still hadn't chosen.  Then I thought I had it.  So I quit college and went to a travel school, my goal to become the General Manager of The Hotel del Coronado (one of my favorite places ever). But after I finished school and applied to The Del, and got my rejection letter, that dream ended. I landed purely by chance working for Western Airlines. I've been working for the Airlines on and off now for over 25 years. I've had enough. It was never what I wanted to do, but I had a child to support. Well that child is now grown and supports himself. It's time for me to pursue something I do want to do. Not just something I know how to do.

What do I want to do? I asked myself what do I love to do? Well, I love to read. No, I don't think there are any jobs out there that would pay me to read what I want to. (If any of you out there know if that does exist, please let me know). I know, I love doing Genealogy. Can I make a living at it? Maybe not completely


.  What can I do to supplement an income from Genealogy clients?  What else do I love to do?  Well I love sewing and crafts.  I asked myself would that work?  Actually, I think it just might be enough to supplement any income I earn doing genealogy work.


That's it.   I want to be a Professional Genealogist when I grow up.  And to supplement my income I will sell my handmade crafts online.  I've started a 5 year plan with these goals in mind.  I can't tell you how excited I feel about working towards this goal.  None of those other career choices when I was younger ever evoked such excitement.

ReVamp underway.